Do not feed the stool pigeons



A tenant received a ticket for feeding the pigeons. Their excuse was they intended to feed the pigeons to the guests at their sons wedding. Management  then proceeded to write them a second ticket since their family is full of mafia informants. Apparently you can't feed the rats either.

This is a fictional story.

Niagara View Apartments

Welcome to the Niagara View apartments.

        Remember the saying "One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch"? Well due to the recent damage caused by a tenant the board proposed a requirement that all shareholders carry insurance on their apartment. The majority voted yes except for myself and three other members. Granted it is unfair for the co-op to bear the cost of repairs from irresponsible tenants, but it should be pointed out that in our 47 year history these have been few and far between. Most of our residents have lived here without incident. Mandated insurance requires everyone to pay for the possible actions of the few negligent residents. Statistically it will generate a windfall profit for the insurance carriers*.
        Some may point out the innocent pay anyway as these costs are added to our maintenance. The difference is we pay only the true cost of repairs and not the additional costs (profit, employee benefits, etc.) of an insurance company. We can also take legal action to make those responsible pay even if it is over time in small increments. Making the guilty pay, now that's progressive.  Hmm sounds like an insurance slogan. That's my point, it may be dull, but what's yours?

*At current rates our tenants would be paying over $200,000. a year in premiums. So far this year there has been only $13,000 in damages. I believe it may be in some shareholders best interest to have insurance, especially those with Picasso's, Monet's, and Rembrandt's hanging in their living room. I don't believe we should mandate it.

A land flowing with artificial animals and fountains

Breaking ground on the new playground

In the year 2010 it was decreed that the children of Village View would wonder aimlessly for 40 weeks without a playground. In April 2011 the Lord brought them into a land filled with milk and honey, although artificial animals and a water fountain might be more accurate. As a sign of his love the Lord installed a rubberized surface to protect his children and video cameras to watch over them*. During this Passover, Easter, and Spring season I wish you Shalom, Peace, health, and all the children shouted Hallelujah!

*Video cameras have not been approved. It just poetic license although this is not a poem, and my license has been revoked to bare arms (too hairy).

In other news pressure from animal rights activists such as Greenpeace and the World Wildlife Federation has forced management and the board to save the whale!

Mgr. Brenda Hundley and Board member Rick Pamias deciding how to Free Willy.

Who stole the hedges?

Some of you may have noticed that our hedges have been trimmed a little short lately. For all you city slickers this is a horticultural practice known as pruning. I have been assured that by summer we will have a bumper crop and all those prunes will be a tasty way to improve our colon health. In a naturally occurring retirement community we need all the help we can get.

NEWSFLASH: I heard NEWT Gingrich is running in 2012. His motto is "Iguana Be President", and if elected will be the first "Salamander In Chief". His campaign will be financed by Gordon Gecko of Wall Street.

Grounds for dismissal

I entered building 2 through the rear entrance and noticed a trench running through the grass this morning. My keen powers of observation led me to believe that an automated irrigation system was being installed. I was later informed that pipes carrying wires would link cameras to one central hub. I must admit I am embarrassed, considering I am on the buildings and grounds committee. Maybe the grounds I'm in charge of are for making coffee. Will that be regular or decaf?

Update: By hard wiring the buildings to one hub we will be be paying for one broadband connection instead of 7. This is in preparation for security camera monitoring.

Going to the dogs

At the open forum a great deal of time was spent on the increasing number of dogs at V.V. The board has been discussing a new comprehensive policy, but the question is will it be legally enforceable. A Mitchell Lama Co-Op called "Big Six Towers" in Queens approved very restrictive regulations concerning dogs and is now in court attempting to evict shareholders*. They have $100. registration fees, $15. monthly fees, weight limits, and dogs are not allowed on terraces or hallways unless they are being led out of the building. The lawyer for the dog owners claims the fees are unlawful, and this policy interferes with peoples rights under the law. An administrative law judge from H.P.D. will be making a decision in the coming months. If he rules in favor of Co-Op we can explore new regulations. If he rules in favor of the dog owners we should not attempt to implement a similar policy. The fact that Sec.27-2009.1 of the R.G.B. protects owners of dogs who have not had legal action taken against them for 90 days to be immune to eviction**. In reality this is a ridiculous law because it depends on the testimony of neighbors to establish the date of ownership. A task that most shareholders are not willing to testify to in court, and very expensive for V.V.

UPDATE: I spoke to Henry Dubro of Big Six Towers who told me the case has been withdrawn, but H.P.D. has approved their dog policy and they will go forward implementing it. I asked him to e-mail me their rules.

 *http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/queens/2010/05/05/2010-05-05_big_six_towers_coop_tenants_face_eviction_over_pets_in_woodside.html
**http://www.housingnyc.com/html/resources/hmc/sub2/art1.html

Boiler tour

Izabella, Richard, and I took a tour of the boiler room and roof of building 6 courtesy of Brenda Hundley and Sam Attard. (Left) This boiler is the one that had the dry fire. The tubes are currently being replaced and it will be fully operational shortly.


(Right) Here is a picture of one of the vacuum pumps. You can see from the water stain that it is leaking and should be replaced.




(Left) This is a picture of the boiler that our insurance carrier considered beyond repair. In order for it to be removed it must be cut up in small pieces and hoisted up by a winch over 20 feet and be carried out a standard sized door. Since 2 boilers can adequately provide heat with the third as a backup replacing this boiler is not being considered at this time.

Izabella will be teaching a self defense class on the roof. Here she is demonstrating how to gouge out the eyeball of an assailant. She forgot Richard wears glasses. Either that or they are practicing a three stooges routine. Nyuck Nyuck.